Light In My Darkness

These incidents might sound silly to write a post about, but it means so much to me.

April – May are the months where students at a university would be making amends with all that they should have been studying throughout the year. These two months are crucial because that’s when a year’s worth of information is cramped into the system. Well, this is true in my case at least.
I had to submit my final year’s dissertation on the 27th of April and had an exam the following day. The week after that held three other exams for me, on consecutive days.

As I was returning home from my university’s building at 11 pm on the 24th of April (Friday) after an intense revision session, I felt my legs get tighter with every step. I got home and saw that my legs had developed some bright red lumps and it took me a while to take my jeans off.
I called my friend and told her about what was happening, (this was around 1 am now) and she suggested I called the doctor out-of-hours. The doctor told me to come down to the hospital within the hour. I was a bit hesitant knowing the amount of revision I had to do the next day and that I needed a good night’s rest to achieve what I had planned. I returned home at 5 am and then watched the sun rise while filling in a deferral form for my exams and dissertation as my condition got worse.

Each day, week after week, I grew fainter, my joints ached and I was forced to stay in bed, unable to do anything on my own. I felt useless. I could have been done with my finals, but there I was, in bed, in pain, in tears. I could feel my heart beat in my feet (if that’s even possible). I could feel nothing but pain and a strong realisation that I’ve let everyone down.

Three weeks later, I was picking up the pieces and fixing myself up only to learn that my Grandma had passed away. I still remember my deep-seated father who pretended like nothing had happened, just so that I wouldn’t fall back into the whorl of gloom. When I told him that I received messages from friends back in Bahrain consoling me, he still maintained his calm. That’s when I knew that my old man needed me, now more than ever. So, I decided to take the next flight from Birmingham to India (because that’s where my Grandma was).

On the 5th of June, knowing that I had developed an auto-immune disease called erythema nodosum, I was now returning back to Coventry with something heavier than my luggage. The disease explained the red lumps, joint pain, fever, headaches, and everything terrible.
Messy May had gone by and the month of June was taunting me. I had to start revising for my exams (again) and to complete my dissertation that I worked so hard on. I had to submit my year’s worth of research for my undergrad degree (a.k.a. ‘disso’ as commonly known by students), with a heavy heart and the fact that I could not complete it according to the standards I had set for myself.

It took me some time to recuperate from life’s unpleasant reality check. The next thing I remember was frantically multitasking revision for two exams that were on consecutive days (so convenient) with the touch-ups for my dissertation. I know, I know, I had loads of time on my hands, but the right frame of mind? Don’t think so.

At this point, I gave up, I cried, I lost hope, I looked up to the sky and surrendered my all, and this is when everything fell into its place. You see, this wonderful God I believe in, gave me a chance to fight own my battle with every cell in my body, but when my strength failed me, and when I asked for a tiny portion of His strength, He clothed me with garments of salvation (Isaiah 61.10) and met my needs according to His riches (Philippians 4.19).

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 🙂

From Birmingham to Delhi

CEO, Strategic Assistants, and their day! – Part 2

Read for story (Part 1): https://kaythedavid.wordpress.com/2014/09/17/ceo-strategic-assistants-and-their-day/

So, what does this story actually relate to? May not be the best example, but it gets you thinking.

Let’s give the CEO, and his two Strategic Assistants a real role now:

CEO = God, Strategic Assistants = People

Now let’s see how this goes:

Our God calls unto us to make a decision about our life that would obviously have an impact on us. He lets YOU make choices; which is known as Free Will, it’s promised in the Bible. Knowing that God our Father does have the ultimate say in our lives. He knows what you truly need instead of what you temporarily want. He asks you for your ‘remarkable input’ which is a Prayer.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. – Proverbs 16:9

In the framework of our little story, we see two strategic assistants; which implies that there are two people influencing the decision-making process.

Now relating that to real-life:

Senior Strategic Assistants = Christian Couple

Say, a Christian couple have to make a decision that would impact their lives. They have their feet firmly planted in God. They both think they know what’s best. They both have a difference of opinion. This leads them towards a disagreement. Further leading towards a tenacious argument. The wife’s in tears, the husband’s voice somehow keeps getting louder, the wife tries to lower his voice levels and holds onto his arms. The husband now thinks his wife’s getting aggressive, and decides to push her from him.

God’s watching them, but ‘holds Himself back‘ . He lets them take steps according to what they think they should do – FREE WILL. Also, because they’re both adults, they know how to handle themselves.

When the couple reach a point where they know they’ve had enough. They walk away from each other. They go to separate rooms, and contemplate on what just happened.

The wife starts to question God – Why would you do this to me? Where have I gone wrong? Are you not a God of your word? This is UNFAIR! I don’t believe in you anymore. This has happened too many times to us. Why God, why?

The husband on the other hand is completely blank. He can’t think straight. He just wants to distract himself. But for how long?
He then ponders upon his faith in Christ. He starts to doubt it. How can a God so strong, allow them to be weak? The three steps he took in coming closer to God, has now made him take seven steps away from Christ.

The couple then decide to come out, and speak to each other. The questions that were on their minds individually, had now become something they spoke out loud to each other. Both clashed on the same thing – Why would God do this to us if He loves us? But the question they should be asking is – Why would we do this to each other when we love each other?

Slowly, their “Firm Faith in Christ” turns into an uncertain belief. They walk away from God, blaming Him for all what went wrong, and leaving behind all the good things He has done for them.

…“Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” – Genesis 4:6-7

This is the problem with not only Christians, but people as a whole – They tend to give up if one goes wrong, neglecting a hundred that went right.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

“What no eye has seen,
What no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”
the things God has prepared for those who love him 1 Corinthians 2:9 

CEO, Strategic Assistants, and their day!

The CEO of a renowned company calls in his two best Senior Strategic Assistants to help in finalising an important decision on which the company lies.
Both assistants have remarkable input to the process. Not long before they start arguing on who’s suggestion is better, and why.

The CEO watches them argue, but holds himself back. He knows they’re both adults, and they can handle the situation maturely. Then assistant A gets a little aggressive; he throws a file of papers at assistant B. As an obvious consequence, assistant B decides to push assistant A.

The CEO has had enough, and asks them both to stop. Unfortunately, assistants A and B have their pride to hold onto. They kept assaulting each other.

Disturbed by their behaviour, the CEO now decides to kick them out of his office, so that they could reflect on how ridiculously they’ve behaved.

After an hour, the CEO is less upset, and calls them back in. He asks if they had anything to say.

Both assistants A and B blame it all on the CEO for bringing them into his office in the first place.

So what does this story actually mean?

Will post my view tomorrow 🙂

Link to Part 2: https://kaythedavid.wordpress.com/2014/09/18/ceo-strategic-assistants-and-their-day-part-2/

Instructions from the Book of James

So it’s been a while since I’ve uploaded a post.

Why not kick it off with a set of instructions given to us in the book of James –

1. When you lack wisdom, ask God for His unfathomable depths of knowledge.

James 1:5 “If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

2. Pray with an unwavering faith.
Once you have prayed, don’t doubt it! Have faith in your faith in God. (if that makes sense)

James 1:6 “… he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”

3. When you are being tempted, don’t blame it on God.

James 1:13-14 “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desires, he is dragged away and enticed.”

4. Quick to listen, slow to speak, even slower to anger.

James 1:19-20 “… Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

5. Two words – Don’t Swear!

James 1:26-27 “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless … keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

6. Don’t show favouritism. (Yikes! Note to self.)

James 2:2-4 “Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?”

7. Be merciful.

James 2:13 “… judgement without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgement!”

8. Let your deeds define your faith. (serious one here guys!)

James 2:17-18 “… faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do.”

James 2:24 “… a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.”

James 2:26 “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”

9. Think twice before you speak?

James 3:1 “… that we who teach will be judged more strictly.”

James 3:5-6 “… the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

James 3:8-10 “But no man can tame the tongue … With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing … this should not be.”

10. Pray with the right motives, and not with wrong intentions. (DUH!)

James 4:2-3 “… You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

11. Do your best, and leave the rest to God.

James 4:7-8,10 “Submit yourselves, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God, and He will come near to you … Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

12. Don’t boast about tomorrow. We do not know what the future holds, but we know who holds our future.

James 4:14-15 “… you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”

13. Do the right thing in all situations!

James 4:17 “Anyone, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, he sins.”

14. Be patient, and don’t grumble.

James 5:8-9 “… be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against each other, or you will be judged.”

15. Know that our Lord is so good!

James 5:11 “The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.”

16. Don’t swear by Heaven or Earth.

James 5:12 “… do not swear – not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.”

17. Pray, pray and pray some more. In every situation, PRAY! It’s only a conversation with God after all. He’s waiting!

James 5:13 “Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.”

18. The elders of your church should be called to pray in time of need.

James 5:14-15 “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.”

19. Confess your sins and pray! Be it for yourself or for loved ones or for others.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

20. Talk to non-believers, and invite them to Christ. Those Christians who have been led astray, bring them back to Jesus!

James 5:19-20 “… if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”

A Life Worth Living.

We often face these situations where we question our lives. As a Christian, I’ve asked myself these 3 questions at least four times a month – ‘Why is life worth living?’ and ‘What exactly is L.I.F.E. all about?’ and also ‘How can I be different?’

You can clearly get the idea of how confused of a person I am, who lives with so many questions that mainly go unanswered (until now).
I keep searching the world for answers to my questions, and I keep forgetting that the greatest answer I could possibly receive; lies within me. Nope, not my feelings nor my thoughts, but Him who lives in my heart. He who has assured me that I have a beautiful soul no matter what! (Psst! It’s Jesus)

But wait, don’t we go through problems in life, and question God’s existence?  There are many wars people are still fighting, wars and enmity that have been passed on for generations. Yeah so now where’s God? You break into an argument with your loved one, where is God’s unfailing love? You fail a year at university, where is God’s promised wisdom from Heaven? You get yourself in an accident, where is God’s protection? Where is peace in this world when all what we’re doing is having a constant battle. Worst of all, the battle with oneself.
I’m ugly, too pretty and gain unwanted attention #VanityFair, too skinny, too fat, I don’t have friends, I hate my life, I hate him/her, my spouse is this and that, I dislike my parents, I wish I never had siblings. Wow aren’t we messed up, and have labelled everything in life?

Through all what we put ourselves, ultimately we blame God. We accuse Him of not being there for us. I confess, I did that too and I regret every moment of it.
We live to please others and not God, then why do we blame Him when we do something wrong? You may say “human behaviour, that’s how we are, we can’t help that” then pardon me when I say, you have no one else to blame but yourself.

You can’t hold God responsible for all what YOU do. How long do you think it would take for God to put an end to all evil (which includes us by the way, remember, we the glorious sinners)? Less than a second? Blink of an eye? Trust me, much lesser than! Yet the Bible tells us, that He is merciful, He loves us, He cares for us. I mean like WHAT!? WHY?! Why should He? We are now experiencing a generation that neglects His existence or don’t even know who Jesus is. So why should He let us live this life? (Again with my questions!)

But Christ died, so that we may live in Him. How perfect is His love! Now I’ll ask myself the 3 questions I had mentioned earlier in this post –

Why is life worth living? 
Because I’m a sinner, yet God forgave me. I should have died so I may sin no more, but Christ took it all upon Himself and gave me eternal life. – (John 3:16)

What exactly is L.I.F.E. all about?
It is all about Jesus. It’s about Him living in us. It’s about what we owe to Him. It’s about what we can try and do, to repay His love (definitely impossible to achieve His level of Awesomeness!).

“The nails didn’t hold Him to the cross, It was His love for us.”

How can I be different?
By never letting go of Him, because He never gave up on me.
Stand firm on your faith, it’s not worth giving it up for the world. There are trials to face, and mockery to bear; but trust in Him, it’s worth it! He is good, He is love, He is powerful, and He is our Heavenly Father. What a privilege that is indeed!

When God meets those unknown needs

In the emptiness of a dark quiet road,

It’s the loneliness alone on board.

All that is lost is lost forever,

Had everything in it till lasting never.

Every second, every minute, every hour;

Consciousness becomes a worst enemy at war.

Doesn’t it feel weird when your own heart betrays you?

Or when your own thoughts battle with your mind, having no clue?

A river of tears flows from you,

When it touches the ground, the Earth knows the meaning is true.

The feeling of emotions felt no more,

Hatred towards lasting love could only grow.

Then in the valley of sorrows, you lose your smile;

Bring a starting think to your life for a while.

Some changes you wish it would happen,

But fortunate happiness just seem to sadden.

You pause for a glance at your past,

That moment of joy in your heart is vast.

A crave to be happy is when you fake your laughter,

No one knows the trials you’re facing then after.

Once surrounded by a crowd of people all so known,

Your outside person then leaves your inner sadness alone.

Your frown turned the other way round,

So the emotions you’re facing shouldn’t be found.

Your issues get high above your head,

Tears on your pillow, a silent cry on bed.

Self-confidence lost, presence of mind so low;

Confused, lost and feels like no place to go.

In the face of shattered dreams and dreadful fears,

Never ending sorrows cry out with painful tears.

Hopes get higher and split into many,

At that confusing time, the right people, you hardly find any.

Confronting that wretched final phase,

You look up above with a deserving face.

Waiting patiently with much anticipation,

Expecting God to help your situation.

An assurance shall be upon thee,

When He accepts your weeping prayers, gleefully.

A day will come when you reach eternal blessing,

When In God, your hopes keep trusting.

An ever-longing desire that my heart pleads,

When God meets, life’s unknown needs.

Day till night, in His sight

Along the road of quietness,

Step by step we walked.

Ensured not a sound was heard,

Only expressions were talked.

The day was bright for t’was the Sun,

It glared its light so bright.

Patience the outcome, nothing else could be done,

Waiting and waiting, day till midnight finally then came up the moonlight.

Turning everything around to silver,

Upon the face of the ocean, every ray did glitter.

Mirrors on the calm sea, made every reflection shimmer.

Slowly- slowly the white silver sand turned itself to golden,

Daylight shone up, now moonlight couldn’t pretend.

Birds all chirping and flying tree to tree,

It seems like God has shown His mercy on me.

The smile of God like a rainbow was painted,

Among the rain-drenched clouds created.

The scenery around brought joyous feelings,

As the rain poured down God’s blessings.

Every sin of mine washed with every drop,

A new creation in me was brought out.

I pray this prayer will last forever,

My day till night In God’s sight could end; never.